Vivian

This time of year means so much to our family.  Not only the most glorious story of redemption, the work of Christ on the cross...deliverance from eternal punishment.  Our Savior came and lived and died and ROSE from the grave in victory.  All without sin.  Because we are full of sin.  We need Him and He came to our rescue!!

This is also the time of year we are remembering a child we were never able to hold.  Sweet Vivian Grace.  She was an orphan, full of pain and sickness.. without love and without any hope in this life.  Once lost and then FOUND and rescued from her abandonment.  Given love, medicine and nourishment. We were matched as her family.  Longing to bring her home and raise as our own.  And then God, gracious in all of His mercy, brought Vivian to her eternal home.  He brought her to her complete healing where she will never be in pain again.  How awesome to serve a God like this!  That loves like this, that binds up the brokenhearted and heals their wounds. Psalm 147:3  And then through her death, God allowed us to see- even more- His eternal purpose. "While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2nd Corinthians 4:18.   Temporal = enduring for a time only.  (not eternal)  

Friends, this life is so short.  Jesus' work on the cross is the only thing that matters.  The only thing that lasts.  We can only be completely confident in this truth!

Our pain was so great.  It was this time 2 years ago we were on our knees begging God to bring Vivian home.  To heal her.  And He did answer us.  He was more faithful than we could have dreamed.  It is weird how death can actually help you see God's plan clearer.  How your faith can grow and even through tears how we can see the beauty in the suffering because that is the heart of God. He loved us SO much He sacrificed His son.  I can only imagine how He welcomed Vivian into His arms... into His presence.  That brings so much peace to my heart. Here she is with her sweet quiet laugh.  Love having this to remind me of the love of our Father.  The Father to the fatherless.

the (phone) call

Camping is something our family loves.  It is so much work, but once you are out there and the work is done, there is not much else that compares to watching your kids out in God's creation. It is beautiful.

the 3 getting so excited for their lil sis to come home

Another thing about our camping trips: God likes to surprise us (shock us) and fill us with His holy fear.  First example-
  I was pregnant with Taytum.  A little too pregnant to be out at the lake, but with 2 toddler boys and a hot summer, I could not think of a better way to spend the day.  While sitting in my grandparents camper, my water broke.  We were 2 hours away from the hospital I was scheduled to have a c-section at.  Fear, excitement, surprise, and more fear.  There are many more details to this story, but we did make it to the hospital where our first girl was born quickly and healthy. (oh, and a little shout out to my dad and brother who were left at the camper for clean up duty)  What a whirlwind.  I remember starting to sob once we were actually in the doors of the hospital.  The pain I was in, the relief of arriving to the hospital before she did, the emotions... it was all part of her crazy story.

And then yet again-
  It was just about one year ago today that we received THE phone call.  In adoption world, this is one of the big ones.  We were officially assigned a date and we would be leaving for Africa in a few short weeks. I was in the camper with Micah who was having a very rough morning (hmm.. same scenario as before ; ) and my cell phone rang.  It was Lisa Prather!!!  Whenever her name came up on my phone, I would have a rush of anxious emotions and my heart would start pounding... We have received some very hard phone calls from her, but this time I knew it was different.  "I have a court date for you!"  Fear, excitement, surprise, more fear. Let me just say the next half hour was pure insanity.  There was screaming, laughing, tears...  Reality started hitting us that this was happening.  God is so faithful.

And now we are getting ready to head back out to take our littlest one camping for the first time.  She is really here with us.  She is really going to go camping with us.  It is still hard to believe sometimes.  God has moved mountains in her story.  We are thankful for a sovereign God who knows our stories before we do.. Who is the author of our stories..  His perfect timing is ALWAYS best.

micah

do you have a "Micah"?  Do you have one (or more God bless you) child that can bring you to tears possibly multiple times a day?  Drive you to your knees in prayer of desperation for more grace for them? A child that has so much passion that you love being around them because it helps you get excited about life and can light up a room with a smile so bright that their joy flows into you as well?  


I have a Micah.  So far, only one. He has been a challenge from day one.  From his feedings, to bedtimes... everything was HARD.  I remember praying to God, "can we have one day of peace with him? just one?" and then "WILL we ever have one day of peace with him God?"  So much selfishness/sin in my parenting is right in front of my face with Micah. It was not fulfilling to me to parent a child that was always angry or that I was afraid to take out in public.  He woke up angry.  Went to bed angry.  Micah's angry eyes were well known to friends and family.  His explosive rage was always present.  I even called him Mount Micah to Andy many days because you just never knew when he was going to explode.  

You are now probably wondering what I mean about the joy and passion? Yes, the rare moments when he was happy truly were precious.  He has always had a sense of humor beyond his years.  And passionate is my word for him.  Whatever he does, it is with great passion. I LOVE this about him and pray consistently that this passion will one day be focused on Christ.  


I write all of this to say, don't give up on your "Micah". I remember holding Micah one night in the rocking chair.  He had fallen asleep after a long battle over bed-time and I just sat in the quiet living room and cried.  Andy thought I had lost it.  I had finally gone over the edge because of this boy.  (trust me there were many moments I thought I would go crazy)  But I was just crying because it was one of the only moments of peace with him I had had in a lonnng time.  I loved sitting there with my huge, sweaty 4 year old just rocking him quietly.  God showed me that this is HIS child.  That He loves him more than I ever will.  And God told me to keep parenting Micah with love, grace, consistency, discipline, PRAYER and that the fruit would come... I don't mean to sound like I parented him alone. Andy was right there beside me for this battle for our son.  We were not going to give in and ignore the heart condition of this precious boy that God had placed in our lives.  We prayed over him after he was asleep in bed.  We prayed together, alone, we asked family and friends for prayer (and advice)... I love the power of God in prayer!!!  

God is changing Micah. He still has his angry Micah eyes sometimes but is mostly so happy.. He still has that passion that we LOVE.  But, this one HUGE prayer we have been praying for him, we are now seeing the fruit. SELF CONTROL.  When Micah would hear a song or a Bible verse with self control in it he recognized it immediately. With excitement he would say, "MOM! That's what I need!"  Don't we all?  God is showing His grace in this area to Micah.  On Sunday he was very upset that he was not going to be playing a video game that day.  We talked about how maybe he needs to have a break from this for a while.  On his own, he came up to me hours later and declared that he was not going to play for 7 days to help him have self control over this issue.  And, yes, I cried. because this is God working in my little man's life. Do not give up or give in to your child's heart issues!  God will give you strength and provide all the grace needed to get through these tough, tough days.  I know we have so much ahead with all of our children.  May Christ be our ever present help with all that is in store for us..

Micah james

                                     

blogger??

I am going to start blogging!  I know I am late to join this crowd, but here I go..